The Toxic Habit That Helps Me Win

I’ve been doing something for years that I’ve never really talked about.

Whenever I get hit with harsh feedback, or I mess something up, or I don’t follow through on what I said I would do… I save a record of it.

If it’s a message that angered me.

A comment that hit my ego.

The moment where I knew I didn’t show up the way I should have.

I keep notes on most of these situations.

I’m not even sure if it’s productive at all. I usually do it during moments where I’m frustrated, really stressed or just pissed off.

Honestly, it’s more of a reaction than a system. I even keep notes of people who doubted me at any point, questioned my abilities in any way or called out any of my shortcomings.

I use all of it as fuel.

And every now and then, I’ll come across some of these notes and every single time I have the same reaction.

I laugh.

I see how far removed I am from the version of myself that made those mistakes and it helps me appreciate the progress I’ve made since.

Events that felt heavy at the time now feel small.

And that’s my proof that I’m not the same anymore.

I’ve had people say to me this isn’t healthy.

Maybe they’re right.

But it works for me.